Jess*ca Marie-Taylor (jasmin) wrote,
Jess*ca Marie-Taylor

Standing Out In The Rain, Knowing That It's Really Over...

Please don't leave me, New York!

Okay, so I changed the last line in that song, but I definitely felt this song today.  Today, the 22nd of June, marks exactly 5 years ago when I came here, and I was listening to this song in Central Park waiting for my run to begin when it hit me (and it was, in fact, about to rain...the song is entitled, "Before the Storm."  Oh the irony).  

I haven't the last couple of years (at least not to the date), but I did want to take a minute to reflect (even though I have been with every entry!) about what NYC has brought me this year - a lot of amazing things.

I have run so many 1/2 marathons in the last year.  5 1/2s and 1 full (my first!) since June 22 - my next one is Sunday!  I have been to a ton more shows, and even the Tony Awards!  I have met Taylor Hanson (although that happened just under the deadline), have found out I was moving away from my fair city, and have reminded myself in the last 3-4 weeks how self-sufficient I really am. I needed that, honestly.  I had forgotten how well I could do on my own, and with just my friends.  I joined a running group, have lost weight (> 10 lbs!) .  I'm on the verge of completing my 2nd year of teaching 4th grade, and really now working on getting the hang of what it is I want out of life.  Most importantly, I am enjoying time with friends here (trying not to think about how it's all going to end), and remembering all of the randomness that caused me to fall in love with this city in the first place.

Relationships are changing, life is changing, and I'm trying to prepare myself for that change.  I know I can do it, and though right now it seems hard, I know it will be okay.  I'm still not sure where I am working after July 24, but I know that I'll land on my feet, as I always do.

I know that I will never forget the last 5 years. A lot of times, I get angry because I feel like I haven't done enough, that I haven't grown enough.  And then other days, I realize how far I've come.  I know that I've got a long ways to go, and if it's meant to be, NYC, I'll be back permanently in 3 more years...And if that doesn't work, well, you know I'll visit, because I can't live w/o my Broadway shows. :)

Love. Love. Love You.

PS- I totally don't blame people for ignoring my "I <3 NY'" entries for the next month...I'll try and keep it to a minimum - promise!

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